My Personal Testimony: The Financial Exploitation of My Father

When I received the call on December 19, 2023, that my father had been checked into Harbor Hospice in Muskegon, Michigan, for pain management, I had no idea it would mark the beginning of a heartbreaking chain of events. What should have been a time for our family to come together and honor his life turned into a painful struggle, riddled with deception and, I believe, clear financial exploitation.

That same day, a $9,005 withdrawal was made from his bank account by YT (his caregiver), the woman listed as a joint account holder, supposedly to help manage his care. But in the days that followed, it became painfully evident that she used that access not to assist-but to take. That money, the very funds that should have gone toward his funeral and burial, was stolen.

On December 20th, I was informed that my father's condition had worsened. Family rushed to be by his side. He wasn't able to speak clearly, but we were present. The next morning, December 21st, at 8:09 a.m., I was told he had passed away.

Just a few hours later, I received a call from the owner of Fountain Funeral Home. She said my father had already spoken to her directly and had pre-paid for his final arrangements-no service, no embalming, just a simple dressing and transport to the veteran's cemetery. She repeatedly emphasized how "clear" and "coherent" he was about these wishes. She also made sure to point out her close relationship with YT( the caregiver), stating how long she'd known her and what a "good person" she was.

What didn't add up was this: if my father had indeed made these specific plans and paid in advance, where was the documentation? Why was the family never informed? And why, if everything was supposedly settled, was I being told there was no money left to adjust the plans-like embalming-so I could be there to see him one last time?

When I asked for the Statement of Goods and Services, which would detail what he had arranged and paid for, the funeral director promised to send it. She never did. When I followed up, she suddenly changed her story, saying that YT (the caregiver) had now claimed she (the caregiver) would be paying for everything-and that I wasn't entitled to the documents after all.

YT (the caregiver) and her friend, the funeral director-two people outside our family-claimed to know my father's wishes intimately, and yet there was no written record. There's no way I can believe that someone on their deathbed, in his final days, would exclude his family from knowing and carrying out his wishes. It's unthinkable. My father had a family. He had children. And we were denied the opportunity to honor him properly because of the confusion, manipulation, and withholding of information-and funds.

Meanwhile, his body remained in limbo. As we scrambled to figure out how to move forward, his remains sat unclaimed, unsettled, while the very money that should have handled his arrangements had been siphoned away.

On December 26th, my husband and I traveled to Muskegon. We met with my cousin and went to the funeral home of our choice, to take control of the process. When we tried to access his funds at the bank, we were told I would need court authority. While we were speaking to the bank representative, YT (the caregiver) entered the bank and loitered until we left-behavior that raised even more concern.

I called her directly and confronted her with what the funeral director had said-that she was covering the cost of the funeral. She quickly became combative, claiming she would have only paid if Fountain Funeral Home had handled the service. Keep in mind, the money she was referring to was my fathers. That told me everything I needed to know.

We visited the VA to update records and found that some of my father's personal mail and documents had been redirected to YT's (the Caregiver) address. We also went to his apartment, where she had gained access even though the family requested otherwise. A TV and vacuum cleaner were missing. I filed a police report with the Muskegon Township Police Department.

Unfortunately, our pleas for justice were met with silence. Although the financial crimes investigator initially assured me he would "get to the bottom of it," to this day, we have received no answers, no updates, and no resolution.

In the end, my aunt had to step in and pay out of pocket for the most basic cremation option. YT, the caregiver, who had taken his money and his belongings-including his wallet, phone, and clothing from the hospice-left us with nothing but pain, unanswered questions, and a sense of deep injustice.

I'm sharing this story not just to grieve but to raise awareness. Elder abuse is not always loud or violent-it often hides behind smiling faces and fake titles like "caregiver" or "friend." Financial exploitation is real. And it often happens when no one is looking-until it's too late.

Our elders deserve better. Our families deserve better. And this will never sit right with me.